Fearfully Exciting Emotions into the New Year
New beginnings can be both fearful and exciting. How can we use yoga on and off the mat to navigate the dual emotions change can bring up within us?
I have a few fears. One being large bodies of water. Winter’s emotion is Fear. Fear can definitely get your adrenaline going. Funny how my family in Puerto Rico is surrounded by water and it makes me nervous.
Wearing glasses at an early age and couldn’t see much. At 23 I had lasik eye surgery. Between the ages of 7ish to 23, I strengthened my other senses. Turning inwards lots and closing my eyes all over the place to train those senses more, was how I would cope with my fears.
I remember going to the beach and not being able to take my eyeglasses to the water out of fear of losing them, so I didn’t always wear them. And attempting to look at the blurry ocean was extremely overbearing on my nerves. Thus, I prefer the fresh springs and creeks of the mountains.
Just a little fear surfacing as we will soon be flying over the ocean for our Puerto Rico Retreat in the lovely town of Rincon. We used to play baseball on the beaches there. The first time I wrote my name was during Winter in Aguadilla’s Crash Boat. That was just after a big wave knocked me down.
As was a teen, I attempted to go into the water of Adventure Islands where the waves are created and got a bit caught up and had to climb out. When I was 20 and living in Arecibo, I was walking along the beach in the shallow area and a rip current grabbed me by the ankles and pulled me under. At that time, I wore contacts and they got all scratched up in my eyes.
Being that Winter is here and New Year has arrived with Fear in my mind, how can I use my yoga on and off the mat to navigate my emotions.So needless to say, I still go into the water, bc it is my fear and it just scares me. I shift fear to excitement and hope for the best.I take myself into the water and the current of my emotions. They go all over the place. Up and down and all around. Backwards, forwards, and I dissect everything until, I can breathe again. Resurfacing. Anxiety runs into me lots and I don’t like it one bit.
So I do more breathing, I notice I clench my teeth and I notice my shoulder squeeze in and rise up. So I consciously, squeeze them in and move them higher. I unclench my teeth and rub my jaw. And then I breathe more. And more. And take slower breaths, and take a shower. And get to know the water more. The water that I was marinated in Mami’s womb. And I surrender.
And laugh out loud, bc laughing is healing, as I think about the bumper we just added to Chris’ car: